. . . a glimpse into my heart.

I was listening to a song a couple days ago that really hit me where I am right now. Sometimes it's hard to sum up my heart and put it into words but this song did it for me.  http://youtu.be/FpbhB6MEekc Desert Soul I love You Lord But I want to love You more I need You God  But I want to need You more I'm lost without Your creative spark in me I'm dead inside Unless Your resurrection sings I'm desperate for a desperate heart I'm reaching out, I'm reaching I know I love God and I know I need him unlike I need anything or anyone else. But I struggle. . . I struggle to find time to spend with him. My heart is pulled in so many directions. But I want him more then anything. . .so why? Why do I struggle? The words to this song make so much sense to my heart but still make no sense at all. Sigh. . . How can you want something so badly yet choose other things in your every day life?  I live my life for Him. I do. I do good thin...

Dependence is often seen as weakness and immaturity in this world but God sees dependence on Him as a prime measure of maturity. He longs for us to simply hold his hand and TRUST Him. Isaiah 41 verse 10 tells us not to fear because He is with us. It tells us to not be dismayed because He IS our God. He reminds us that He will strengthen and help us and uphold us with HIS OWN hand, which means he is CLOSE .  In Psalm 62 we're told to rest in Him ONLY and that we don't have to be shaken by anything because He's our ROCK . So, why then are we so often shaken by what the world throws at us? It can only be a lack of TRUST and too much distance from HIM . If I'm holding His hand and trusting, I have been promised that He will strengthen and help me. . . I will not be shaken . (some thoughts from my time in His word and reading today's devotional in Jesus Calling by Sarah young) 

Imagine being a fishermen whose nets keep coming in empty and whose fishing line never gets tug. It seems that if you've not focused enough you might eventually find yourself not casting the net out or forgetting to use bait or realize your hook isn't even in the water anymore. Fruitless fishing gets discouraging. The term "fishers of men" is common in the church world. We all get it and have said it. There are many ideas on how to "fish" for people. There are many books written on the topic. However, this morning I got a lesson on fishing that made more sense then any other and seemed the most simple and in all honesty, seems easier then many other methods. Another thing we've seen used in the church world are acronyms. And in an acronym is where this simple lesson comes in. Let me share it with you. B L E S S B is for "Begin with prayer." Let us never forget the power in prayer. Prayer for those whom we are "fishing" ...

Last year in kindergarten Liam shared with me about a little girl in his class named Brianna. She frequently cried in class throughout the day. He was saddened greatly by this and wrote her a little letter and drew her pictures. He was so soft hearted. Now, he's only more sensitive. Today he was fighting tears in the car ride home from school. He told me that his best friend Trenton told him he didn't want to be Liam's friend anymore. Come to find out, there's a boy named Izaac, yes, it is spelled with a 'z', in his class. For some reason he gets picked on. During four square kids yell at him to get out of his square even though he never actually got out. Liam says Izaac is always sad and has no friends. So today, Trenton was throwing rocks at and kicking Izaac. Liam told Trenton to stop and it made Trenton mad and he told Liam he didn't want to be friends anymore. Liam was devastated. I took the opportunity to share a story with him: Jesus replied, ...

Two days ago I told myself, "Tuesday is the day!" And here I am, spring cleaning. Liam was sick over Christmas break, Dave has been fighting something for numerous weeks and Gabriel has been sick with an off and on fever and cough for a week now. I felt the need to clean! I disinfected doorknobs and light switches in hopes to get rid of the spread. I'm praying God will guard my body from catching whatever this nasty stuff is. Judah is quite lucky to have a impenetrable immune system.  I sprayed down the shower with my Dawn and white vinegar mixture and let it set for a couple hours before scrubbing it down and rinsing it. I also scrubbed the shower curtain and hung it to dry outside since we're at a Whopping 50 degrees and I can see blue sky for the first time in I don't know how long!! Always nice to have a fresh shower curtain. :-) I also tackled the office which has yet to be finished. I love being orga...

As some of you might have sensed, I have gotten a little frustrated with Facebook. Ever since the election in November my news feed has been flooded with everyone's opinion of what should happen and their fears about what's to come. There's so much hate and anger and a lot of very ungodly talk and name calling, a lot of which is coming from those who claim to be Christ-followers. My heart grieves over the attitudes and lack of trust in our all mighty God that I've seen over taking Facebook. Whether or not I agree with any of their opinions is not the issue. . . It's the lack of love towards others that saddens me. I came too close too many times to posting my own statuses to scold people but knew it would do no good and only get myself drug across the coals. So, I have taken a step back. . . .its time to recall the real purpose of Facebook for myself. It's an easy place to vent and share what's going on in my day. I found many times my statuses were post...

A couple of years ago I was chatting with a dear friend about something that God had put on both our hearts.  Discussed how we felt like we had gotten somewhat colder and callused to things that used to bring tears to our eyes. Specifically, we were talking about past opportunities we'd gotten to go to other less fortunate places and serve in ways that changed us and broke our hearts for things that break God's heart. But at this point in our lives, being busy mothers and wives, we just felt disconnected from so many things we used to be passionate about. We discussed what it would look like for us to leave our families behind and take a trip out of the US to rediscover the things that once caused us heartache. I know, you might be says, "Why would you want to do that to yourself? Who wants to bring on heartache on purpose?" well, it's a much easier life to be cold and callused towards things that are so far away, in other countries and things we feel we couldn...

In February of 2011  Dave and I went to a 3 day counseling intensive. It was life changing. I often go back to the notebook where Kathy took notes during our sessions.  Her  and her husband Keith are such wise people and brought things to our attention we wouldn't have seen otherwise. Today I needed to go back and reread some things she said about me that really opened my eyes to the struggles I have in my life. These are struggles that have weighed on me  since I was fairly young and I never understood. But Kathy spoke so clearly to my heart that day.  I hate sin. But I understand those who don't know Christ as their savior don't have a reason to deal with sin and stop. On the flip side, I hate seeing my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ play with sin and live in it like it's not a big deal. I have frequently spoken truth into someones life and in return gotten called names and lost relationships. I always wondered if I should have ...