Raising pastor's kids who AREN'T bounded set

http://youtu.be/XWqk1o6bDxA
Watch the video first and then read the definition below to get a better understanding of what a bounded set is vs. a center set.

A bounded set would describe a group with clear "in" and "out" definitions of membership. The Christian church has largely organized itself as a bounded set, those who share the same beliefs and values are in the set and those who disagree are outside.
The centered set does not limit membership to pre-conceived boundaries. Instead a centered set is conditioned on a centered point. Membership is contingent on those who are moving toward that point. Elements moving toward a particular point are part of the set, but elements moving away from that point are not. As a centered-set Christian membership would be dependent on moving toward the central point of Jesus. A Christian is then defined by their focus and movement toward Christ rather than a limited set of shared beliefs and values

Wikipedia definiation

Christian's today have put themselves in very bounded sets and that is how we end up with so many different denominations. We have to look and act a certain way and if we don't there's a lot of judgement and and fear of rejection.

So, what am I getting at? Well, Dave and I are trying to figure out how to raise kids who are center set and only care about whether or not a friend or acquaintance (and themselves)are moving towards Jesus. When it's all centered around Jesus we care more about people's hearts then their actions. Obviously, we all know that if your heart is right with Jesus and in love with Him your actions with match up with Jesus' will. So, we want our kids to not get caught up on looking and acting like a pastor's kid should. We don't want them to feel like they are bounded by rules and expectations. Instead we desire that they are moving towards a relationship with their Savior.

As you've read from my last blog, Liam is really struggling with anger and sadness. He's moody and rude much of the time. Yesterday he said some very mean things to me and Dave sat down to talk with him. The out come was Liam admitting he was angry with us for moving him to Yakima. Instead of telling him how wrong anger was and that he wasn't allowed to feel that way we talked about his feelings and allowed him to share his heart without judgement. By the end of the conversation we came to the conclusion that it's ok to be sad and not want to be here but it doesn't mean you should be rude and mean to people around you. I had been sharing with him in the past God's will for us to be here but I'm starting to see how I can bound my child into this set that's going to cause bitterness towards God. Now, we've allowed Liam to be open about what his heart is feeling and helping Him work through them rather then just telling him how wrong and sinful it is. He's only 5 and I can't expect him to say, "Well, mom, since God wants us here, I will be happy here."