Unpacking Childhood Baggage

 

We all know that 99.9% of parents (yes, I just made up that statistic!) want to teach their children what is right and good. Most parents care about what their children take in and who they become. I have had to remind myself this many times when I think about my upbringing. I believe that what my parents, youth pastors and mentors taught me was truly what they believed was right and good. They didn't have any agenda to lead me astray. I have reread my stack of journals dating back to the early 90's and my jaw still drops when certain memories come back. I didn't have a bad childhood and I knew my parents loved me. However, the evangelical world I grew up in was pretty saturated with things that I am now realizing were either not true, not that big of a deal, or didn't matter at all. As I have grown up and am dismantling these ideas I am becoming increasingly happier with the person I am. 

As I think back I can come up with a lot of things that I think VERY differently about today. I wouldn't say I believe the opposite of all of them, but I think differently. 
I am curious how many of these things you relate to and what would you add to my list. 

    • Physical Purity was of the utmost importance if I wanted a good marriage.
    • If you play rock 'n roll music backwards you'll hear demonic messages.
    • If you're a Christian, you are a Republican.
    • As a woman, I am responsible for the lustful thoughts of men. 
    • My clothes defined my commitment to purity and later, to my husband.
    • Good Christian girls have minimal piercings, no tattoos, don't smoke or cuss.
    • Women are not as important as men are to the church and the workforce.
    • Sex was primarily for procreation and the satisfaction of the husband.
    • We don't talk about sex. It is extremely private.
    • As a wife, I must always be sexually available to my husband.
    • Women's roles are in the home.
    • Women are too hormonal to be in leadership. 
    • Dating was wrong. Courtship only with the intent to marry was right. 
    • Public school will lead your kids astray.
    • Christians are better than everyone else. They should want to be like us. 
    • Any rebellion against God was a sin against my parents. 
    • As a wife, it was my job to keep the home clean and tidy for my husband.
    • We don't see color (race). 
    • Attending church is almost more important than the state of your heart. 
    • A woman should not pursue a man. 
    • Masterbation is wrong. 
    • (fill in the blank)

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