i am nothing


 I've been struggling. What is the worship that God wants from us? I believe a large percent of Christians and churches in America are confused about worship and don't even know it.  

When I looked up the definition of the word "worship" I found the following:

      noun
  1.      the feeling or expression of reverence and adoration for a deity.
  2. verb
    1. show reverence and adoration for (a deity); honor with religious rites.

  4. The synonyms listed are:

  6. Reverence, glorify, honor, adore, praise, exalt, idolize, magnify

How often do we say the word "worship" and simply mean "music and singing"? When we focus on singing we get distracted. I have analyzed lyrics my whole life. As an adult I tend to think seriously about the words I sing to a God who deserves more than I could ever offer. There are so many songs that are so focused on me and what I get out of a relationship with God. There are even songs that we sing for each other and are sung TO each other, and are not even sung TO God. I recently heard a song lyric that was actually singing to my own soul. 

When I imagine the worship of idols and kings of Bible times, I see people bowing, laying prostrate before the object of their worship. Can you imagine those people talking about themselves in the presence of the one to which they bow?

So what does true worship look like? I desire to bring him worship that kicks me out of the center and places Him in the center where he is all I can see.
Today God brought me to a place where I was able to acknowledge that He is EVERYTHING and I am NOTHING. The most amazing moment was when I felt God tell me, "But I still chose you. I love you. I accept you." How can such a great being desire anything from me? He does though. He longs for communion with me and worship from me. I'm discovering that my place in worship is prostrate, humble and in awe of who he is! 
I journaled what God brought to mind as I sat in His presence. I'd like to share it with you. 

"Who am I that you would listen to me and love me even in my sin? You are awesome and powerful! Your love is something I can't even start to understand. How can your perfect love welcome me in and accept me? You're perfect and an all powerful God who can control the universe. I worship you in awe of who you are and everything about you that I cannot understand.
Help us become less distracted by ourselves. Break down our selfishness! Turn our eyes upon you. Stop us from thinking about ourselves. I want to see you!
Burn down our idols! Burn down our buildings and all the things we focus on.
I am nothing.
You are everything
You love me
I am not worthy
You deserve all praise and worship
You > Me
You love me"

Exodus 34:8-9 
"Moses quickly bowed his head toward the earth and worshiped. And he said, “If now I have found favor in your sight, O Lord, please let the Lord go in the midst of us, for it is a stiff-necked people, and pardon our iniquity and our sin, and take us for your inheritance.”

These verses gave me an image of worship. Moses longed to have God in the midst of his people. But Moses acknowledged that he may not have found favor with God. This made me think, If my worship is so self focused, I can come before God in my pride and just assume he wants my mediocre worship that focuses on all the great things I get out of it. Do I long to find favor with God? Does my life reflect him? Am I working to be more holy and sanctified? Am I examining myself and dealing with my sin? Or do I walk into an opportunity to sing worship songs thinking I have so much to offer?


God, you are more worthy than anything I can offer you. Please help my heart seek you and worship you in humility. Thank you for choosing me. Help me to no longer be focused on myself, but fix my eyes on you. Thank you for your love.

Compassionate
Merciful
Loving
Gracious
Powerful
Just
Strong
Forgiving
Worthy
Accepting
Welcoming
Approachable
Peace
Comforting
Rest
Patient




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